i try to think about thins sometimes. i try to find a connection on small things i do or say to my mentality.

like WHY do i wear only formal clothing sometimes? why is it thick jackets even in 105 degree weather. all black. sturdy sturdy sturdy fibers like denim. why do i like specific solid food and not mushy ones?

i feel maybe its because im trying to channel the power i lack in my life with black formal wear such as a high priority business person.

and the food and clothing fibers? solid and sturdy. maybe because i lacked much stability in my life and im yearning...HUNGRY for it.

idk this is why i try not to think much.
im a pathetic loser.