In my opinion, this rationale of yours needs to be changed. Here's why it didn't work out.. she was a bully, you acted out and at some point it just gets old and it ends. Like the person above wrote there is no point in remaining friends with the ex.. I suspect there's some sort of expectation or manipulation behind the "I will help her out where I can" ..

I'm not sure I fully understand the concept of forgiveness.. For me forgiveness means not giving a **** anymore about what happened.. yet the damage is done.. Forgiving doesn't change anything from what I can tell... I've had arguments with people, later went back apologized ask if they'd forgive me, and the relationship doesn't go back to the way it was. The relationship is altered after I was forgive, because itt didn't go back to the way it was prior to the argument. It seems to me forgiveness got me nowhere.

Now, I'm sure someone will want to explain what it means to forgive, but that means nothing to me... It's a definition which I can google if I wanted to.. To me forgiveness is an abstract internal concept that you have to figure out what it means to you and how do you accomplish what it means. If that's even possible.. ie... if you never rode a bike before.. I can tell you how to do it, what you need to do but it really doesn't accomplish anything. Just because I told you howto ride a bike doesn't mean you'll be able to do it. It's something you have to figure out for yourself..

To me forgiveness seems rather pointless.. It rarely happens, for reasons I explained above, and it certainly doesn't change what's occurred to me in my life.. So.. everyone could come to me and I could forgive them 100%.. It didn't change anything, all I said was a word, and I'm still ****ed up. Where did forgiveness get me? Nowhere!