@Leed: yes i'll have to marry him eventually even though i dont love him. He also sees 'defects' in me but he wants that we should make it happen as families are involved. By the way i havnt told my fiance that i dont love him/i love someone else ;that is so not an option.

@ponder1973: 20 years and u still feel for that woman u once loved? That is something.

@Perna: i try my level best to make my life interesting for myself. But really i think atleast once in a day that may be the only solution or the easy way out would be if i dont exist.