I truely do feel for you and all that you are going through. I do not believe that I am able to provide the type of support that you are asking for. If you feel that things are getting to the point where you are feel out of control, or fear for your life or others, than for now I would suggest that you get ahold of your local mental health emergency service or the Doctor who prescribed you your medication. I have felt those feelings and to me it sounds as possibly a professional may be able to help you through this issue. I just want to say to stay safe, and if you are prescribed medications to take them as prescribed and if they are not effective or have side effects you can not tolerate to contact the Doctors office and explain you situation.
Peace~ CHRIS
If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!
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If you think you have totally givin' up- you haven't, because you are here! 
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