I am desperate for help...please, anyone out there willing to read this..

Some of you know, but those who don't. Long story short-My H lost his job in April. In the interim, H applied for unemployment and after an appeal by his ex employers -he got denied as they proved just cause for termination. H's job going away also meant INSURANCE going away.

My T tried giving me a sliding scale fee, which I still can't afford. I seen her once since this all happened.. Last week was the appt. I was scared, because I thought she would be mad that I text her a lot, but she was fine with it. At that appt, I set up one for next week, but with all the bad news we got, I told her to cancel it, then asked her to hold it, then yesterday asked her to cancel it again. She wrote back that her door is always open in the future. I got upset, because I never said in my text that I was quitting therapy and I told her that. Then I asked her if I could just move the appt to the following week-but she will be away, . So I then asked her if I can have the other appt back but its already been filled. She did however give me one for next week on Thursday at 8pm-so not all is lost. I guess what I'm worried about is that I know I must of drove her batty last night with not being able to make decisions. She has been very "clinical" lately. Not as warm as she used to be. Since she sent that text assuming I was quitting, I feel thrown out. Replaced. Like she never cared to begin with. I am just desperate for help. For T to help. I need to find low cost or free care, but in my area, no care is better than what the community health centers offer. I don't what is wrong with me that I need my T this bad. It hurts and I am at a loss.