beauflow,

It is not that you couldn't figure things out earlier dear, you genuinely have been triggered/upset by what is taking place. You have four other siblings that are not helping your brother, and you being the youngest, you should feel guilty? It sounds to me like you have done more for this brother than your siblings have. You can't expect to have the solution to his issues, you are not a professional and you struggle yourself beauflow.

Honestly?, it sounds like your family is not respecting the fact that you are also struggling and are not in any kind of position to take responsiblity for this older brother. You need to find a way to let go of the guilt that you are somehow not able to "fix" your brother or "know what to do for him" or "let him move in with you so he can drain you every day with his problems". You are not a psychologist or psychiatrist that can treat your brother and you are not an outpatient facility either.

You have needed to be validated for how you are feeling beauflow. Sometimes your boyfriend adds to some doubt because in his way he wonders about helping too. It is not that we don't want to help others either beau, it is being able to recognize that we don't have the "ability" to truely "fix" whoever is struggling. And there comes a point where you have to realize that a person has become dangerous and could very well pull you under with him/her.

It is not easy to have this kind of challenge beauflow. And this has been going on for you for a while now. Your brother cannot seem to manage his life and it isn't fair of him to ask "you" to manage his life when you can't really do that for him. You are not in a position where you are rich and can send him off to some place for help either.

You have done what you can.

Open Eyes