Oh, Trying, how hard for you! I would do as you have been doing and write out everything and see if you can get a distance from it so it is just problems-to-be-solved (PTBS) instead of feeling so like a crisis. If you cannot pay for T, T cannot see you and I think the maybe coming maybe not problem you experienced last night is worse for you than T; T does have lots of people she sees and others who might want an appointment, and her business and personal life to conduct, but that is not about whether she would like to see you or not, about whether she cares for you. It is just not possible the way things are.

You will see her next Thursday night? See if you can work on writing up your PTBS; even if he was fired, your husband is still eligible for his insurance, http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/pdf/cobraemployee.pdf so have him look into that and see if you all can put that into your budget. Even if you cannot afford to continue insurance for that long; it is probably already paid for August, you can see T when she gets back from vacation? Find out, do some money crunching with your husband, I am sure you all are doing that anyway with this new work problem.

You and T can work to come up with a plan for you next Thursday, she may know of a colleague who has an opening at lower cost or maybe you all can come up with a self-help plan where you see her less often to "check in", kind of like a self study or sabbatical plan in college. I did some of my best therapy work when T was away (she use to go back to her native country for 6-8 weeks+ at a time a couple times a year). Or you can treat it like it is college and save up a little each month for it for a year or two from now; keep doing some work on your own so when you "start" you are further along next time. I did that too, saw T for some years, had to quit because I moved and changed jobs and it was too far away and then I started again almost 10 years later and the second time was worth the work and wait in between!