newtus, I just wanted to tell you - I thought of this post in my therapy session yesterday, and I could really relate to the truthfulness and honesty of it, for you and for me, the really deep meaning it has. so I just wanted to thank you for putting it out there. I always have to tell people i'm not being funny too, but I mean the part about being important, and your life being in danger. for me, it was my mother trying to kill me, whether consciously or not didn't matter - my life was truly in danger - she wasn't taking adequate care of me, she was putting me in harm's way. and when I got my ssd, everybody could finally see - yes, I am important - the government thinks it's important to keep me alive, even if my parents didn't think I was worth their trouble at all. it was kInd of hard for me to comprehend at first. I mean, who cares if I live or die? if your family doesn't, then how can you yourself? but if the gov't actually does? it's like, whoa, what the hell is this now? maybe I really am important, just because I exist. just like everybody else what a concept. what a country.