Imperfect Welcome to PC

As others have said... WOW you do indeed have a full plate and that in its self can and is exhausting! I do agree that you should probably just work on YOU right now. You had had many relationships that havent worked for a variety of reasons. Every breakup hurts, and chips away at self esteem when you a low as you seem right now.

As to your feelings of self worth , you wont find it in another person its something you have to find in yourself. ( i know Ive been there)

Seems to me that you would certainly benefit from Therapy of some sort also AA or NA as you have said you also struggle with addictions. Both programs I have only heard good things about.

We are all a friendly bunch around here , quick to offer support or share our own stories and struggles.

I hope you find support advice and some peace knowing your not alone in this struggle .

Welcome