Please be careful of yourself. It seems as if you are struggling with new ways to cope. It is so comfortable to use the ones we have used for so long. I also wonder if you would consider seeing a t again. It really helps for someone to help you work through things and grow. I hope you have made it without cutting. There are some good coping skills listed although I am sure you already know that. Please PM me if I can be any help. I am thinking of you.