I finally started running again! It's something that has terrified me to start again, but today I decided to be positive and give it a go. I have an irrational fear about it because last time I ran, a year ago, I was put on Wellbutrin to quit smoking and it threw me into a manic episode. Needless to say, my mileage went from 6 miles quickly to 16!! No lie! I would go out for three hour runs! Well, I ended up taking myself off the Wellbutrin and my mileage started returning to the original six. I literally tore my body up trying to maintain the mileage. I quickly stopped running out of hurt and frustration. This was the precurser to being diagnosed cuz after my episode I was thrown into the worst depression of my life. That's when I started cutting again.

But on the positive note... I just made it half a mile at a 10 minute mile pace and another half at a 12 minute mile pace without killing myself. I am absolutely amazed by this cuz I have turned into a chain smoker that coughs all the time. I didn't realize that I had ANY fitness left and I didn't even huff and puff to badly. My body fell right back into proper running form. I weigh around 185 now, but at my peak I weighed 155! Ha!

Anyways... Do you think by elevating my endorphins I am asking for trouble with hypomania? Pdoc says to exercise, but I feel really good and last time I felt this way I went totally hypo! Should I be chasing a runners high? Am I just over reacting?