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Originally Posted by Readytostop
I had a similar conversation with my T. My T and I discussed how I will cry for other peoples situations but not for my own. That is a really great thing to discuss.
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Thanks, Readytostop, I think so, too. Because it's about more than crying. It's about trust, vulnerability, reaching into the deeper parts of oneself - in ways a metaphor for our whole therapy experience.
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Originally Posted by kiki86
i know that feeling of emotional heaviness you're talking about. it's horrible. i'm not sure what you can do. i know that when i go to sessions i start off being bright and bubbly, maybe because i'm glad the session is finally here and because i like T but maybe if both of us were to spend 15 minutes before the session thinking about emotional things then we'd be closer to expressing them by the time we get into the room? i dunno. i might try doing that and see what happens.
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it does feel horrible...
yesterday I felt the heavy thing softening--really "mushying" is how my insides felt, but then we had to stop - and she gave me an 8 minute warning, so I was having to force myself to stop. By the time that I got to the car and the rest of the night, heavy again.
I like what you suggested before appts--thanks! Sometimes, but not each time, I do try to read what I've written (emails, homework) just before sessions, but it's not systematic enough. I need to think of my appt starting 15 mins before the actual time and sit in the waiting room (or my car) doing this reading. We do start off each session with a meditation--she leads us in this--which does help a little with putting me more in touch with my feelings, but still not quite enough.
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Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
i think it does, chemically; that's why we have tears, i believe. I've seen some research papers on that before. could you maybe look it up KazzaX?
for me crying in session is definitely a pressure relief.
If I can't cry, the tension builds up unbearably (sadness, grief, fear, you name it).
If I can cry, it's better.
Often the tears just roll out; just a couple of times I have boohooed, and although at the moment it feels just miserable, it gives a voice to the emotion, and I do think it's better than the internal pressure buildup (does this make sense I hope?)
one thing about crying for me - I never look at T at those times - if I did, no tears would come out I'm sure.
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thanks for this, SAWE. I think I wrote about that I literally shed one tear last Friday and I think that this was in part because she was hugging me and therefore not able to look at my face. Yesterday being close to real tears I felt good, frustrated that it couldn't come, but releasing of some of the "internal pressure," which totally makes sense.