Magickal1, no, you are not a downer, we are here to listen to you vent and express what you are going through. I hate to see you call yourself a "failure" though. A psych nurse said to me once that it was never a failure to come back to the hospital for my PTSD, that it showed courage and honesty to admit what I needed and to take care of myself. I believe that now and hope you can for yourself also.

Be well,

mtd