Jennifer, I can really relate to this experience also, except I haven't been too good about standing up for myself. I feel my anger flowing and feel it when I do lash out at others, especially over little things. I know it shows what just beneath my surface is a lot of pain and frustration and anger that still needs to find a good way out. It's why I use art and writing and other forms of expression to show show myself what I'm feeling towards the two who sexually abused me as a young child. I call them my "demons" also. It really helped me though when counselors had me start drawing my feelings and my demons, and even molding them into clay so I could smash them. It helped take them out of my head and in my hands where I felt more control. If you haven't tried some of this, it might be worthy trying.

Be well,

mtd