I have been divorced for about a month. I discovered recently the reason behind the final straw that caused me to divorce my wife.

I was living with my wife in Europe, and due to family reasons I had to return to Canada. My wife stayed in Europe for a number of reasons. We had been having pretty serious problems that were mostly due to my wife's psychological problems. She would agree with that.

My wife's therapist is fairly famous in her part of Europe as the author of "Empowerment of women" style books.

Initially my wife seemed to have some improvement from her therapy. But, about two months in she started acting aggressively towards me.

Just the other day I connected the dots. I recalled a time when the therapist had asked my wife to describe my faults. She said she couldn't think of any. Her therapist then said to her "That's what I would expect a woman to say about her father, not her husband". At the time I sort of felt good; that my wife had such a high regard for me. But at the same time her therapist saying such a thing was upsetting. There is a large age gap, and technically I could be her father. I should mention that never has there been indications of "daddy issues".

It turns out that my wife had been involved in probing me to discover my faults, with the support of her therapist. This involved acting quite nasty to me, and then taking note of my reactions. She just admitted this to me. She described it as a "wicked game", and she apologized for it.

My question is: "Is it appropriate for a therapist to say such a thing (the father comment), and is it appropriate for a therapist to be involved in probing me?"

I can see that the therapist would like my ex-wife to be realistic about me, but the comment and the approach seems entirely wrong to me.