As I was walking home from the bus stop after work, I started making up a stupid song. I went for most of the day with little negative thinking. So, I just really wanted to let it fly instead of changing the topic in my thinking whenever I'd get negative. So, I started making up a list of reasons my life sucks.
1. In 2003, I made $9.50 an hour. Now, I am still only making $8.70. I am spending more money due to taking courses at the local technical college and my cat having diabetes.
2. I have almost no friends (3-One I haven't talked to in a long time, One calls me almost every night which drives me nuts and the other one is nice.)
3. Major changes at work due to new company taking over large part of old company. I'm a new hire again.
4. I have been having trouble sleeping for 8 months.
5. Great aunt died in June 2005. Grandma died January 2006. I have guilt from mostly great aunts death. (I hate guilt because I don't know what to do with it.)
6. Some things in my courses at the start of the sleeping problem brought up some childhood guilt.
7. I am worried about the future. (changes in licensing procedures for addiction counseling which is what I am studying) How will they respond to my compulsive need to talk to a T?
Well, that is most of them-I think. I know this was a dumb thing to do. But, I sometimes like to just let the negative thinking fly when I'm not at work. Well, I have a slight grin on my face which seems like a good time to try to go to bed. I hope my sillyness can make me close enough to happy to sleep good tonight.