Hi Zen,

I can tell you that you make bad choices in this situation. I can tell you that you have the ability make better ones in the future. I can't tell you that you will. We condition ourselves to do things a certain way over time and those things become habits, and habits can be very hard to break. Zen, I often do things that I know are going are probably going have a negative impact on me, but it's what I've conditioned myself to do. I'm sure there's others here that do the same thing. I'm in the process now of changing some habits in my life, sleep patterns, eating more healthy, getting more exercise. But it's difficult because it takes a real conscious effort to make it happen, these new things are not part of my normal habits.

I have no doubt in my mind that you can make better choices in this situation, you've proven yourself to be strong. But watch for making a knee-jerk reaction when something like this comes up. Stop, think about it. Think about what is really best for you and then make a choice. Habits can be changed, but they take understanding and hard work to make them happen.

I hope you're well dear,
bp

"A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart."