Sence we moved everything is going down,Life seems to have no meaning anymore, When I lost the 2 most impotent people in life,Things have been going wrong ever sence, For me there is no in this life I can talk to or trust becouse of sooo many lises,ect. My life fell apart everything I tried to do has failed, I haved failed in so many many ways. I'm in a relationship I have no clue to where it is going anymore. I have put up so many walls becouse I have be hurt so many times in my life. I am hurting now ,No one seems to understand what I am going through, I have my own problems to deal with and it seems that everything to do with me and what is left of my family has to be put on hold and I have to deal with others things that have nothing to do with me frist. I feel so much pressure in all this it isn't funny. I have done everything thing possible to make things work ,But nothing seems right anymore. Someone want one thing and I want something else, I was once happy now I'm not, I have to play keeper and many other things, I can't handle anything anymore, I can't deal with what people want me to deal with, I think I have have a disorder myself but there is no one one to listen to me in all this.I lost my mother a year ago and trying to deal with that and a sister with medical problems ,Am I supose to put that on hold too. If you felt so much pressure Would you stay in a relationship? What if someone wanted things the way they were 5 years ago and you didn't feel the same way anymore ?, Would you stay? You cared very much for a person and they take everything the wrong way. There are no words to explain the hear and the pain I feel, I'm so mixed up on a lot of things I don't know where to start, There is no one in my life I can get advice from anymore, There is nothing left, My sister and brother wouldn't understand or begain to.
I wish all this would end and I could be happy again, The way I feel I have lost all hope on every thing. There is no way out, I'm in a hole ,If I leave I would become homeless,Right now nothing makes sence to me, I'm so very lost and will never be found again, I don't think any of you would understand this eather , I feel there is no one out there who could help me , I don't know where to go ,what do do or even think, I am sadenby everything ,Everything I worked for is gone!!! The person I lost I had is gone I don't even know who he is anymore. I wish I could stop hurting and put the pices back to the the puzzle. May there is someone out there who wants to help but how can you trust after being hurt so many times in your life? I'm so sad and hurting and no where to turn becouse no will listen,Everyone I try to talk to thinks i'm out of my mind, Maybe I am..