(((Rose))),

I think he just triggers you Rose. He never truely gives you that gold star, just keeps you in a promise of it but it never really happens.

I think this is something from your childhood, someone let you down this way. You had so much "secret passion" for a while, like there was something coming to offer you some kind of reward for all you did. Right away he blew that by his yelling in the car and even though he noticed you cleaned, he still had to find something wrong, something to pick on, which interrupted your sense of reward.

He says you are sensitive, you are senstive because you have been hurt and disappointed and he reminds you of that, he triggers that.

You know what? I am sensitive too Rose and I am seeing more and more "why" I am sensitive. I have the PTSD that exaggerates everything so I am much more aware than I used to be. My husband triggers me too Rose and I can get pretty "low" too.
And I yet I struggle, thinking I should just appreciate what I do have in him.

Maybe this man doesn't really "validate" your Rose. It seems like he is "all about himself". If he knows you are sensitive, than why play you like he does with the missing widget as though because you cleaned his place you ruined where is widget is. He is punishing you with a backhand to your mind. Ok, so he has a nasty little temper and he gets over it, but it must be more of this back hand mind thing he does with you, something he has been doing since he was a little boy. It isn't just "you" he does it to, he does it to his family too, hense the remark they made.

And that hurts your ego too, after all you love him, you picked him out of somewhere and dusted him off hoping he would shine up good, but he still has those dents and even if you try to turn him to see the shinny side that you managed to help him with, he is in many ways the same old dented person you began with. And that is the "where is my dam widget" he simply has to back hand your mind with. It was always there too.

It isn't you Rose, never was "your fault" but it still hurts sometimes, and triggers you.
You have to make up your mind what it really "is" that bothers you and work on it.
Sigh....I have been quite the worker bee myself.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes