I feel like an awful person. My istakes contributed to the downfall of our marriage.

Everyone I am with always sticks around and promises me the moon and then they leave when they are ready to go. Like I am just there to fill the void or a stand in before something better comes along.

I am tired of giving my heart and soul to people.

My last relationship before my husband was bad. He cheated on me and physically abused me at times. Then I had the courage to break up with him and then unexpectedly my husband came along. He treated me so nice, and I wasnt used to that. He even waited for me for sex. I didnt think guys could be that way.

He was so responsible and good looking. I was really lucky.

Then I was even luckier, he married me. Promised me forever and to take care of me.

Then I go and eff it up, because I am just a huge screw up.

I think I am meant to be alone and that's okay. It's a fit punishment for a screw up who wasn't enough for her true love, who did her true love wrong at times.

I should've cleaned more, and I should've brought money home. I shouldn't have argued. I should've stayed 110 pounds instead of the 130 pounds.

If I could take all of my mistakes back I would. I loathe myself and I dont think I can forgive myself for this.

This pain is my fault and I failed my daughter. I am a disgrace.