I am sure many people can relate.

My mother had bp incorrectly treated with AD alone for most of her life at her request. My mother loved being manic and considered it the good part of life. The drug she was on for most of her years was Elavil/amitriptyline, an old tricyclic AD. It made her fat and she had had a very good figure when she was young: very very narrow waistline and broad hips, which in their day and age was fashionable. She mourned her figure, understandably. But for some reason - and I do not even remember what the "logical" connection was, I was at fault. I was at fault for her having to take amitriptyline, that is.

She died of metastasis from breast cancer 12 years after the diagnosis - a very good survival considering at what late stage she was diagnosed. But it was an unnecessarily early death - she waited with reporting a breast lump to a doctor. FOR A YEAR! Had she sought medical attention in a timely fashion, she probably would not have even needed her radical mastectomy. Her parents had lived long lives, and she died having barely turned 60. She was understandably bitter but, again, I was at fault. Something I did caused her to wait for a year before reporting her breast lump to a doctor. So I was guilty again. At fault for her not living those extra thirty years that were genetically given to her. I did not even react much when she told me that, I was so fed up with guilt trips.

Who does that to their only child?

I've just made an appointment to have a physical with a breast exam for September, and I would be paying out of pocket because my job does not provide health insurance. I do that not only because (when not suicidal) I want to live a long and pain-free life, but also to spare my family, even though they do not live with me any more. How could she have treated it any differently?

At any rate, I invite others who were always "at fault" share.