i am starting to feel i belong in this forum i've seen on papers from my doctors that i have Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective basically right now i feel Benzatropine has caused me alot of problems mania possibly but i have also read that in causes Psychosis only with overdose so i am here since i have been put back on it when i get upset i start obsessing about being sexually exploited by older people the more humiliating and degrading the more it has its has of comforting me thinking being treated that way i guess makes up for being upset two situations that caused the whole existence of this and the two should have never been put together it drove me away from everybody and caused me to always be out be always at a store or some other place i ended up smoking to made me feel that i was out casted but yet nobody told me that sure alot of things here and there occurred but nothing was there for me to be able to do anything but it still had its effect and just ended up going farther and farther away started to develop paranoia due to things you think someone would confront you with but they don't one day somebody said that i was going to be caught for retaliating against someone for doing something i had no clue who it was or what they were doing and i started to here voices and a noise and i felt things were being tampered with and i know they were and that continued it still does it just now i have enough to be able to combat the whole relationship and am no longer trapped with that i no longer feel false ways can force a relationship but there are things like inexperience mixed with being caught for retaliating and the exploitive crap that put together is not cool or a good place to be i do not know the way out of all this my life turned for the better when i went off the Benzatropine and a bit before that i went on abilify and have been on risperdal then went down on the risperdal and back up and have that tardive dyskinesia and that probably due to going off of it and i thought that drug made me feel better but the abilify with the risperdal did that so if there is a catch going on and a relationship or even the idea of having one from me can't be due to crap and then the exploitive crap i do not see me being viewed well or a way out i did do a test with different thoughts of at the time i was on the Benzatropine with different answers from at the time and did score from mania so thats why i ended up here