I've been having the urges for about 3 weeks now. This has happened many times before, but I had been able to resist all but once in the past 2 years. Until now. It's done. They're not life-threatening or anything to be concerned about, but I am just so utterly disappointed in and disgusted with myself. But I finally have that emotional numbness that follows. It stopped my crying which had gone on for 2 hours and now I don't even remember why I was so upset to begin with. Aside from the general extreme stress that life is throwing at me at the moment; I don't know what specifically made it so overwhelming tonight.

I'm going to bed after posting this, so don't worry if I don't respond for a while. I just had to get that out and tell somebody. I just wanted to tell somebody that I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to keep fighting it.