I basically agree with kiki, though I'd add that it sounds like an odd (not inappropriate, but odd) thing for a therapist to say that they'd expect a woman to say that sort of thing about her father... unless it's a daddy who died when the daughter was very young. Then again, if a therapist were to say "I would expect a woman to say x" to me, I would ask about the statistics s/he based that utterance on, almost regardless of what x was.

But as for whether the behaviour was inappropriate or not, it really depends on what it was. For example, if the therapist advised your wife to destroy your belongings in order to observe your reaction, it would be inappropriate and I would understand that you'd find it aggressive. I can also understand that it hurts to find out that somebody's behaviour has not been genuine, but since there was apparently a real psychological block somewhere for your wife, it does seem as if it was in fact warranted.