I think this kind of thing happens a lot. One partner enters therapy, changes, while the other doesn't. I mean that what therapy is designed to do, transform. Your ex-wife was not the same person you married. Some relationships can absorb this change, even welcome it, others can't.

I do not think that the therapist's comment was inappropriate at all. It actually rings true to me.

Personally, I know I would want a partner that knew me, faults and all, and loved me anyway. Eventually all rises to the surface and idolization only leads to disappointment and anger.

Perhaps you could try to see this as a positive thing as it gives you the opportunity to find some one who will love and respect you warts and all.