Thank you for your kind words. It is nice to know I have found an online community that seems to really care. Sometimes I think the chaos isn't really chaos, or like it is all in my head. Maybe everyone feels like this and I am just being a baby. I don't know. It can get to be very overwhelming. Sometimes I feel as if I am just being mean. I just know in my heart something isnt right with me and never has been. I just want to feel better. I don't want to walk around unhappy when I should be happy. I have a home, a partner of 8 years, 3 beautiful dogs, loving parents, and I have an associates degree and Im working on my bachelors. It is a challenge. My partner pushes me to succeed. She keeps me on the right track I think. I know that she understands me better than anyone ever has, but not completely. I have yet to find someone who does, whether it be family, friends, or even doctors. Its lonely.