From what I can see, as an external observer that is, the dil is either insecure and doesn't want to feel she is competing with the mother (she is jealous of you?). Or, and maybe this is related I don't know, she is selfish and wants sole posession of the son - and wants him to dance attendance on her and only her.

It is a difficult situation, and you appear to be trying to mend this relationship. But it seems that she is not that keen. Does your son know his wife is trying to villify you? Is he on your side? Did you try to haev a heart-to-heart with her? If so, and she is still persistent in trying to villify you... then maybe the best would be for you to still be civil to that woman, and maybe time will show her that you are not a 'threat'.

It must be really difficult for you though... :s I hope at least your son sees her for what she is.