After all these years with my daughter not speaking to me or letting me see her kids, I've learned to put it on the back burner. That doesn't mean that I don't miss her or the boys. It doesn't mean that I don't have my crying jags, but I guess you could say I'm getting used to it.

With John, it's a whole different story. My biggest pain is HIM. I hurt because I can feel that he doesn't love me or trust me. I HURT because he's my baby and it feels like I've lost him.

Christina also said here on the board... or asked... why mother's can't let their kids go. Maybe she means TOTALLY?? She's still living next door to her parents!! It kinda feels like double standards to me. Yes, she's thrown her dad out of the house when he was bad mouthing my son, but she can't get very far away from him!!

I honestly do believe that she feels that John can't love us both at the same time. She has to possess ALL of him! She doesn't even let John and his dad go to the store without her packing up the kids and going, too.

When they were just going together and John worked at a living facility for retarded boys/men, she would sit in the car all the time he was inside working! She could have been out having fun! I don't get it... except for her terrible insecurity! IF she only knew how much he loved her then and how totally devoted to her he was!!