Okay, our perceptions cannot be denigrated; they are ours and they are always "right" because I get to say how/what/why/who/when/where, etc. I perceive! You can have your perception Pachy, I don't want it, have one of my own; all I want is what you tell me about yourself, not what I "think up" or think I perceive, etc. because I am not you so cannot perceive/feel/think what you perceive/feel/think.

I do not hear any one else "claiming" something else is happening. No one is asking the person doing the happening what is happening? If I am crying, deciding you hurt me with what you said when I, in fact, have a cinder (nice, quaint word :-) in my eye, that does not help you or me? Discussing, with me, the person crying, why I am crying as well as using your perception to reveal to you what you are thinking and feeling about why you think I am crying is more apt to get you a better picture of why I am crying than you just going off and "deciding" I am crying because you perceive it? I'm not waving, I'm drowning! Perceive that?

I know we are all experts on ourselves and good at knowing and expressing what we are thinking and feeling but, dang, that's a hard job for me and I don't need to take on anyone else and their lives and trying to figure out what they are thinking and feeling without just asking them. What does "lying" gain someone? If you say, "I love you" I say, "that's great!" and expect you to show it through action. If you don't show it through action of some sort, I chalk it up to words only. Even if you "feel" you love me, go ahead, it's your life, you can feel whatever you feel! But I cannot say you do not feel love for me, no matter what you say or do, I can only say you have not illustrated your love for me in action sufficient for me to believe you. My perception that you do not love me is not the same as whether you do or not.