I'm different.
I've always wondered how other people are so "normal". How they just seem to go through life without all the bad things that people seem to think about me. How does it not effect them? I have no idea what these bad things are- but I guess they are there. I remember thinking I was never good enough for anyone. I don't understand why I get so mad, I don't understand why I get SO stressed, I don't understand why I'm so hard on myself. I should be able to understand, but I don't. I try to make friends, but it seems as if I end up scaring them away. But when I do get a friend, it seems to build VERY quickly....then to flutter out later. I'm just so sick of this. I think I want to do one thing, go to school for it (at home of course, bc I just can't go to a real school....) and then out of NOWHERE 2 months later I will be SO passionate about something else. Not even related to the first major. Rinse, wash, repeat....
I'm also paranoid about things. Always. That people (besides my family MOST of the time) are trying to hurt me. Not physically- but get me in some kind of trouble. I'm so sick of feeling like this. It seems that no meds that my doctor puts me on for Generalized Anxiety Disorder helps. I mean, the Remeron helped with the panic attacks but made me more paranoid, the buspar takes the edge off of my anxiety but nothing else. I jsut really need some direction. If you have anything to suggest please do.