I think I finally figured out why I'm soo nervous in all things therapy related. I'm not used to be the focus. Ever. And the thing with therapy is it's all about the client and despite my side-track efforts, I don't get very far with my illusion of not being the client, I'm always the client so it's always about me. That's why sending a stinkin email makes my mind race. Because it's an email about me, not about the other person.

When I was in school, I was perfectly average, I flew under that radar. I was well behaved, smart -but not enough to draw attention, and quiet. I went to a small school, with small classes but most of the time teacher's couldn't remember my name.

Same thing at home. I was well behaved, I didn't cause trouble, I got good grades and kept my room clean. I was quiet and didn't draw attention. I was the opposite of my sister who required a lot of attention and caused plenty of trouble.