I’m sorry you’ve been having such trouble. Do you have any way yourself to find and pay for a therapist who specializes in personality disorders? I know that you have a pdoc whom you trust, but PD’s are still kind of . . . well, not that well understood. Which also makes treatment difficult, but if you’re miserable and know something is wrong, then YOU know it.

Another possibility, if you need your pdoc's referral for therapy: suggest that even if you don't have all the symptoms for BPD, you do have some of them and ask the pdoc for a referral to a therapist for possible PDNOS (personality disorder - not otherwise specified).