Thanks so much sunrise, your well-thought response gives me a lot of food for thought. I quoted the porn part because I wanted to clarify for everyone, not just you.

I know he had porn contacts in his email. Quite a few. I don't know the extent or frequency of course. I realize a lot of men view porn, and this was a rather unfortunate occurrence for him, he lost several clients because of it. My issue is in the "knowing" he view(s)(ed) porn. It's icky to know that about t. Especially with the csa issues, especially with the breast cancer. It's a bell that cannot be unrung.

thanks geez. My anxiety is EXTREME, to put it mildly. It prohibits me from doing just about everything. I was on anxiety meds (and other psych meds) for years and it took a heck of a lot to withdraw from them all. Months in fact. They are toxic. I will not take them again. The trade off is not worth it for me. (no offense to anyone who chooses to take them)