Thanks for clarifying. I understand now that the porn is an issue for you, not necessarily your T. I would feel kind of yucky if I knew my T was into porn so it would probably be an issue for me too. I hope I don't find that kind of thing out about him. When I was working on my marriage in therapy, I remember thinking about T's own marriage, which had ended a few years before I began therapy. I hoped he hadn't been involved in extramarital affairs (as my XH was). I would have felt awful about that because my own belief is that if you're married you don't have additional partners, and if you want more partners, then you should get out of the marriage before sleeping with others. If T had been cheating on his wife, I did not want to know! It would so go against the honest T that I know (or think I know). It might have been a deal breaker for me. So I understand about how a T's behavior can raise a client's own issues.

You mentioned your T lost several clients because of the porn emails. It seems to be standing between the two of you too. Have you ever talked to him about it? Would it help to process it or only make things worse?