Is this how you think you are "I'm thinking she must think I'm a hoarder now, living in third degree squalor. A nasty, dirty person fooling everyone with my "put together" facade" ?

or is it more; you wish T would accept the reality of what is going on and help with that rather than taking it so lightly but at the same time as wanting T to know the reality you don't want them to think you are a total beyond help mess as well ?