Thanks for replying, tigergirl. I was starting to wonder if everyone on the forum got together and decided, for "rainbow's own good, not to post in this thread". Thank you for the hugs Adel, Lola, eastcoaster and Chopin.

I have copies of all the handouts from the online DBT class that I started about 8 years ago or so, and never finished. I suppose I should reread them.

It's really about missing my T. I felt connected to her when I emailed even though I knew she wouldn't reply. Now I feel like I have nothing to look forward to, even though I have a lot of events going on in RL. A whole dimension of my life is being taken away and it seems like an effort to find anything as good. I know I sound pathetic and ungrateful for the life I have, which from the outside, looks great. I've got to accept how I feel and still move on. Easy to write, hard to do.