I suggest laying low and not attempting to leave the marriage immediately (unless you are the target of his violence). Use this time to get your ducks in a row, for example, get copies of all your family financial documents. It sounds like you've done some of this. Good. Also if you just outright leave the home, this can make it harder for you to get the home in the financial settlement as they might consider that you abandoned the home. Go see a lawyer so you understand your rights, options and various strategies. Try to pick someone who is not a shark. The divorce goes easier if it can be amicable, and shark lawyers will try to introduce more acrimony and make it a battle, because a battle takes longer and they get paid more then. Get a gentler sort of lawyer, who can be strong, but will not encourage animosity.

If your name isn't on the checking account or other accounts, try to get it added. Even if your husband will not allow that, you can try. Maybe you will be successful. It is good to think what you would like to get in your financial settlement. Do you want the house? The car? The retirement account? Do you want the house to be sold and then split the proceeds? It is helpful to have thought this through. Also, it is helpful to know how much money you need to live on. What is your budget. If you are unemployed, it can be very helpful to be thinking of your future support. What job will you get? If you need to learn some new skills, it can be helpful to go to school for some classes while you are still in the marriage and have a stable home. Sometimes people think they really want to stay in the home instead of having to move out to an apartment or smaller place. But if you have a mortgage, keep in mind that the mortgage payments can be a huge burden, and you have the upkeep for a house and yard and property taxes and all the stuff in the house to deal with. My XH moved out and had a fresh new start in a new place. I got the house but also the years of accumulated junk in it and many house repairs to make since we neglected this our last unhappy years together.

Do you have children? If so, try even harder not to have an acrimonious split.

During the time when I was contemplating divorce, I got a PO Box in my name so I could have correspondence sent there that I didn't want my H to have access to. I also started taking more of an interest in our finances and took over the job of paying many of the monthly bills. That way I got better educated about the cash outflow and how much things cost.

Good luck to you. I am glad your last meeting with the therapist went well.