Thank you mojave & farmergirl for explaining that to me. I've truthfully never lived anywhere with reliable psych help. No day programs, nothing but incredibly drab & unstructured hospitals. If you admit a suicidal thought, the cops get called & you get dragged away to disappear for 3 days & nothing more happens for your psychological welfare... So these responses are just really interesting, but foreign to me. Can't wait to live somewhere with more support. I've hit a hefty handful of spells where I was convinced I wasn't going to live anymore, convinced I couldn't, but have had to somehow snap myself out of it because there's nowhere I could go. Lame. Incredibly. :/