But hankster, if I said something about my husband in marriage counseling that he found intensely hurtful because it involved a disclosure of his very private information, would you not also support his right to seek support for his pain and the feeling of being horribly exposed?

My husband admitted last night that what he told MC was probably not relevant to our marital issues, but that he was looking for reasons why he (H) behaves as badly as he does. He says he doesn't understand either why he cannot change his behavior despite knowing how badly it makes me feel. H won't consider any of the reasons *I* have suggested as reasons for his behavior (ie his extremely distant and aloof mother, his physically abusive older brother, his father who was largely absent from his childhood because of "business" that involved relationships with other women). None of those reasons would POSSIBLY be the reason he is struggling his relationship with me. Noooooo. The reason for his behavior is clearly my fault and a result of this private issue of mine that doesn't even cause me to treat him badly.