I have never been diagnosed with BPD, but I totally experience the relationship thing. It's like, every one that I have had, I fell so hard and so deeply in love. Or so I thought. Well, it's like a year or so goes by literally every time, and I suddenly don't want anything to do with the guy anymore. I don't want to be touched, kissed, or anything. I end up feeling smothered. It's weird. But the guy still feels the same, I just don't.

I can't explain it. I also want to be alone and get away, but then when I am alone, i am lonely. I just saw your post and thought I would say that I kind of understand. (Maybe I just pick crappy dudes. who knows.)
Good luck. I am sorry I don't have any answers for you!!!!!! and I hope you don't feel like I totally posted something unrelated to what you were looking for, sorry if I did!

AND welcome to PC!!!!!