I think I have an understanding of who I am. I’ve been figuring that out for the past six years, but it is an ongoing education, I know. I am exactly where I want to be, doing what I want in my schooling, I will become an Architectural Engineer (not a writer so forgive my poor grammar). I have remained the same noble person I was when I first met her, I’ve just been sidelined by my feelings for her. I will bounce back. I know I must be selfish in this, or any other relationship. Nothing much causes me stress or anxiety, not school, not my job, not my other friends, not my family and that’s not do to a lack of effort on my part. I am notorious for being the funny bone in my circle of friends. The only problem that has plagued me over the past 8 months is this 15-year-old girl. I have more patients than a praying mantis or I would not have remained her friend for as long as I have. There is nothing I can do for her other than offer my support.

Normally, I stay away from close friendships with people like her, even though they seem to attract to me. She is the only one I’ve allowed to get this close. Being her friend is fine, more than fine, it’s great. There was a time when she was exactly who I wanted to be with, that was many moons ago and she’s changed for the worse since then. I’m still hoping that the same sweet girl that has cared about me will remerge. And she has, several times, but is submerged again only to go deeper beneath the horizon. I’ve been keeping my distance, and talking about it helps. I’ve seen a therapist twice thus far, and talked to many of my closest friends. I don’t know what’s going on in her life anymore so there’s little for me to worry about, at the moment.

I think her parents reaction to me is normal and positive, at least they care with whom she spends time. They may not know just what to do with her, but then who does?

I’ve never been one for peer pressure. Despite living in a town whose high school is notorious for drug use; more students enter into rehab from our school than any other in the region. Not to mention, living in a small isolated town lends itself to alcohol abuse. All I heard from my peers was how drunk they got at the bush party on the weekend.
I have never been drunk, nor do I plan to. Alcoholism runs in my family and staying away from it was my choice, and my choice alone. I don’t need alcohol to have fun, or any other substance for that matter. These are the principles that I have adhered to and I’m never shy to admit it, which is why her parents approve, any parent would.

P.S. The legal age of consent in Canada is 14, I failed to mention that before. And I knew that when we were at our closest moments. We both knew that sex would do us more harm than good, and that is something we never forgot and I'm proud of our control.