inpatient is a strange place it's got this coccoon calming effect it's as close to being a ghost as the living me ever got and it's such a shock too at first it can and will make the emotionally sensitive cry in pain and relief and the wet face indicates surrender and it won't work without the white flag!

..."yeah I really done it now world I hit the wall I crashed into myself on the way over the edge and I surrender it's you strange whitey coat peoples and fancy clipboard nerds and the suited ones now that I hand the awesome priviledge of controlling my life to"...

..."did I really just do that??"

I can feel my eyeballs getting twitchy wipe them quickly recon an exit can I make it in time crap the guards are everywhere they don't believe I want to stay "oh know he's one of them yep!!" don't let him out of your sight!

smoke cigarettes and inhale each like it's new breath passing the time the tv is constantly on when is lunch you screwed up my meds white coaty thanks for re-dressing my wounds they still hurt who was in this room before me and were they more depressed than me I just made all the other patients beds cos I was restless..

I am not me in here I have case notes I"m sure I don't at home I wonder whats written there are they kind I want to go I want to die I want to do both and stay as well I guess I better and see what they say...