It's the drinking of alcohol, PrincessxKitty. As long as you continue to drink, you're going to have bouts of depression from it. If you have reached the point that you find the depressions worse than the drinking, I would hope that you will get help for it.

Touch base with a couple of the people on the Addiction Forum if you would like. They can give you some hellpful hints, too, on what you need to do to get your
system free of alcohol once and for all.

Take care of yourself.

Genetic