I'm sorry, (((((Petunia))))). I wish I had some words of wisdom for you that would make you feel better instantly. Do you have a therapist to talk things through with? All I can say is time...a little time, patience and taking care of yourself is the best way to get through this. Also, talking about your feelings to someone you trust in your life, or us here at PC. We all care.

Lots of love,
Zen