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Old Jul 28, 2012, 04:56 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 42,243
Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
I realized after thinking about it more, that H brought this up with his first therapist, who we also saw for some marriage counseling. So, it is apparently something that either bothers him or concerns him somehow.
Thanks for saying this, mkac. I posted but deleted earlier (a couple of times), wondering how H had "processed" the info for himself the first time. In his mind, did he stick by you "like a man"? How did that play out - what feelings are being suppressed? You wrote earlier in this thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
I told my H about it pretty early on because I love him and didn't want him to get too deep into the relationship without knowing, because I wanted to protect him from the disgusting person I think I am. I wanted to give him an opportunity to get out before he was too attached to make a rational choice. THAT'S how much I loved him. And the reality in my life, hankster, is that he NEVER loved me that much, and still doesn't and is totally willing to throw me under the bus in an attempt to excuse his own conduct.
Partners of survivors are also survivors, and you say he is a survivor in his own right.

I have gotten to places of understanding with my T that I never thought I'd reach. Neither of us has changed or improved particularly; we are just less afraid to share, to say what we are really feeling, what can be really scary sometimes. But what have you got to lose at this point?