Hi Moose! My name is Susie and I'm new. I read this thread last night and today. I don't know you or totally understand whats been happening, just what I read.

I hope your doing ok today. Not sure if this helps but....I've been married 16 yrs next month. It's been a longgg rough road, especially last year. I wasn't number one anymore and I knew he was cheating but I couldn't prove it.

He was always arguing, yelling and putting me down which made me feel like crap all the time. It took me a longgg time to stand my ground with him. Way too long!

We did separate a few times for months, then I'd let him come home. Finally I got the proof he cheated on me. He gave me a std which was treatable thank goodness! I was devostated, hurt, angry ect... Was definately in the gutter.

I took all his belongings and put them in trash bags and dropped them off at his work in his car. I changed the locks and poof he was gone. I was definately scared but that is when I put my foot down for good this time.

He came to a couple therapy sessions with me back then. I let him know under NO circumstances would I ever tolerate being treated the way he had been treating me for a long time or cheating. I waited till the first of the year and he came home. This is after he had been going to therapy, anger management ect... Another long story.

I can honestly say he changed his whole way of living before he came back. He's been great to me since. But I still have a wall up and I'm not sure it's ever going to be gone totally. I'm working on it.

Guess what I'm telling you is I wish I had done this a long time ago. I was not respected and life was a living hell for me and my son. I never thought it would work out last year. With alot of counseling and soul searching I finally grew balls about this.

I think what made the difference is I stopped working on US and just worked on ME. It was lonely, scary and I was so depressed I stayed in the bed alot the first few weeks.

I want the best for you and for you to be happy, loved and respected. I thought your letter to him was great and I'm proud of you for sending it. I know it was very hard for you to send that to him.

How is it going? You doing ok today? I'm here for you.

Susie