((doggiedo)) - I'm very sorry to hear about the death of your family friend. Trust your instincts in deciding whether to go. If I don't feel close I pay my respects at the funeral home or go to the service. The wake depends on whether its an open invitation or just for immediate family. Prayers to his family and fiance....so sad. Hugs to you in making this decision and no its not selfish if this would set you back emotionally.