maybe this is part of slipping or maybe it is part of keeping my head up.....

but I tend to find symbolism in things and apply them to my life at the time...
i.e. a few months ago I found a brand new (brand new!! with tags in the little wrapping) trouser socks I was so happy it was a crappy time and I was like "yeah! new old socks! at least a little thing!". I put them on, and I ended getting a new tear in them with in 10 minutes of wearing them around the house due to the little carpet thingy (ya know the little piece of carpet that sticks up) I got so upset at first, with like "well- f.. what is the sense of finding new old socks, i never get to keep anything any ways"... then I sat there and I realized that I was getting so damn upset about this, and said- "ya know 'stuff' happens some times!".. it was odd due to it really helped me put things back in perception of -- some times crap happens, and ya know what we move on in away, we learn and some times we realize that it is not as bad as it was when it happened.. I ended wearing the socks to work that day and still have them even though they have the "run in them" I just don't pull them up so high as I would if they did not. and the area where I snagged the socks, I make sure to take an extra long step this day when wearing trouser socks or hosiery around the area

but I did this again the other day with something i attempted to crochet.... Just making not a hat but a doily and trying soo hard--- it reminded me -- Things may not come out as I hoped for, even if I put so much effort and trying into it, but they still come out to be some thing, and can be used for some thing, and don't tear it apart just because it is not the thing you were expecting-- keep what has been made, keep trying and hopefully some day you will get what you want to make and expect

sorry if no one gets what I am saying here- but sometimes when I feel like I am slipping or loosing it-- i guess these things help me with realizing some things with in myself.... helps me keep going..


And I will add.... Painting, doing projects (depends some times but doing projects helps), being sure to take time out for me weather at home or at work, and to stop and smell a flower ever once in awhile and to remember to find some humor in some things-- also helps me keep going