Does it ever make you feel good just to hold the knife and not cut? I'm a knife lover. I don't know if that's from my x-love of cutting or what... i dont cut anymore, but i still want to and i still miss it. i asked my friend for a knife to cut open a box, but he knows me well enough to know that i used to cut and i can be pretty suicidal. So, he wouldn't give it to me and opened the box for me. But I don't know if i wanted to cut or just stare at the knife... anyone have that happen before? just to hold such a powerful item would feel so good