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I am really worried about my boyfriend and my pets. He has DID and we previously found out that one of his alters had been abusing my cats at home. The two of them were so frightened that they stopped coming home. This was months ago and it's still an absolute task to get them, they're scared of him. Until last Wednesday I hadn't seen the female cat for about three months, it's that bad. The male cat, who always ran to me whenever he saw me in the street, now runs away from me. It's devastating. The fact they were clearly terrified to go home spurred me to demand he get his alters to search his psyche to find out what had been going on and they found that an alter had been creating false memories as he abused and tormented my cats. I punched said alter in the face, which probably wasn't the best way to go about it, but I love my cats and I was so upset. He also came in one day claiming that the female cat had bitten him unprovoked, yet he uncovered that that was a fake memory and that the alter had been tormenting her and she had retaliated.
Since then, he got his alters to "kill" this abusive alter so that it could never hurt my pets again. But I'm not so sure. A lot of accidents seem to happen with my pets when I'm not in the room. Examples include;
- My rat Cookie who I had only had for about two months fell off the back of the sofa while I was upstairs. My boyfriend came upstairs to tell me he had fallen and now he wasn't moving. I came downstairs and the rat's back was broken, and he died in my hands. People on the rat forum told me that usually rats are fine falling from fair heights and that my rat was very unlucky.
- The female cat, who I didn't see for 3 weeks, finally came in last Wednesday. Everything was fine with her, she was sitting on our laps etc and seemed content. I left the room and came back to find that she had pooed on the sofa, and even bled everywhere, my boyfriend had cleaned it up and put the cushion cover in the washing machine.
- The cat above was fine since the pooing incident. Today whilst I was upstairs cleaning the bathroom and I came back to find her terrified on the table and she had peed herself on the table despite the litter tray being right next to the table.
- Today whilst I was just getting out of the shower I heard my new rat, Silas, squeaking extremely loudly and constantly for the amount of time it took me to get from my bedroom to the living room. I found my boyfriend with the rat in his hands, claiming that he had stood on his tail by accident. I went back upstairs to finish getting dried and when I was on my way back I heard Silas squeaking again and my boyfriend said he'd just been gently squeezing his tail to see if it had been damaged by him standing on it.
I don't want to think that he might, once again, be abusing my pets, be it him or an alter. But I can't help but wonder why all these little 'accidents' happen when I'm not in the room. I don't want to ask him about it because it feels awful accusing him of something like this even if it has happened before. Am I in denial?
Kaz x
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